Framed as a Failure

I enjoy writing for AG.com, not just so I can preach at you and throw some scripture. But, I enjoy writing for this blog because I get to be open and hopefully relate to you! We are all alike in more ways than you’d expect. So, I don’t mind being a little vulnerable about my life experiences.

I’ve always felt like I was two steps behind. In school I struggled to keep my grades above a C average. I was good at being friendly and conversing, but what good was that?! I knew I had strengths, but they seemed worthless in areas that mattered. For example, I was carefree and good tempered (a strength), but it would cause me to be more susceptible in forgetting and lacking concern for due dates, responsibilities, and important events. My family consists of talented, gifted, and intelligent people, which left me feeling inadequate at times in my youth. After high school, I decided to get a better job, save money, and volunteer in my community with my free time. I would see my friends on social media at their prestigious universities or going out of the country on some exotic trip. And I would ask myself, “What’s wrong with you?”

I am grateful for where God has brought me to! But, maybe you can see why I felt like a failure many times when comparing my life to friends, family, and the image of success by society’s standards.

We live in a society that is obsessed with success, promotion, and profile elevation. I have noticed a common theme with many story lines about the modern woman. The girl that is the main character usually lives in a nice city apartment, has a degree from an ivy league, and works for a magazine company or some Fortune 500 corporation. For her to be an exciting and inspirational heroine, she must have this image. It’s like society knows to truly be successful, you must obtain accolades, degrees, titles, and money.

The principal behind a success hungry mentality is not all bad. After all, we want to do our best with the life God has blessed us with! But, what is true success?

What the world may view as failure or unsuccessful is fruitful when you are in God’s will and bringing Him pleasure.

When you want to “grade” your success, ask yourself these questions:

1)              Am I following the Word of God and pleasing Him in my lifestyle?

2)              Am I taking advantage of the opportunities God has given me?

3)              Am I looking for ways to better myself (especially spiritually)?

If you answered yes to all three, I can’t see why you would ever view yourself as a failure.

I Corinthians 3:6-8 (KJV)

“I have planted, Apollos watered; but God gave the increase.

So then neither is he that planteth any thing, neither he that watereth; but God that giveth the increase.

Now he that planteth and he that watereth are one: and every man shall receive his own reward according to his own labour.”

A “faith without works is dead” kind of scenario. If you don’t labor and work hard in this life…there will be no increase! If you don’t apply yourself, wither it’s pursuing a degree, a career, or ministry, you will have nothing to show for it.

“Okay, Charity. But, what if I have worked and tried really hard and I’m just not moving forward?!”

Proverbs 16:9 (KJV)

“A man’s heart deviseth his way: but the Lord directeth his steps.”

He is going to say no at times. He is going to say yes when you weren’t planning to move. Simply because He has something better in your future and/or is protecting you from growth stagnation. God is wiser, smarter, and knows all. When we take matters into our own hands, we are judging and concluding from a very shallow perspective.

This doesn’t mean stop planning and preparing for your future, because God wants you to be passionate about the life He’s given you! But, it means to understand why some doors close and why some open. It’s like God gives you a little shove here and there to keep you on the path of His perfect will!

Psalm 18:33 (KJV)

“He maketh my feet like hinds’ feet, and setteth me upon my high places.”

Overall, if you don’t have a high paying job, a degree to hang on the wall, intelligence, a hefty bank account, extraordinary good looks, or great social skills- you are not a failure! Don’t listen to those around you. Read God’s Word and see what is successful to the One who created life and the essence of dreams. Please God, follow His guidance, and take opportunities He presents. That is true success and the secret to a satisfied and content life.

about blogger

Charity Huba is a 24 year old Floridian, fond of the State’s hot summers and tropical beauty. She is a leader in youth ministry, music ministry, and Sunday school. She has her degree in Political Science and works for the government in the Division of Elections. She adores quality time with her loved ones, musicals, and moon-lit nights.

Fixer Uppers

Exasperated and tear-soaked, I flung my tired body onto my bed. Sighing into my pillow, I blubbered: “I just can’t do this anymore!” The waves of emotion moved over me: frustration, irritability, bewilderment, wanting more with less work– the experience needed to be over!

I laid there as the moments passed until, defeated, I dragged my hand across the pillow top, fingertips searching for the crisply untouched sheet of paper. I let my watery eyes absorb the Swedish Title and followed the illustrated instructions, trying to complete my IKEA furniture. Picture by picture I did what was told of me, the tears soaked back into my skin, and there– there was my finished Kullen dresser.

The mystification I was overcame with moments ago has resided to smiles, accomplishment, and neatly folded clothing. I had all the materials. I had the prior experience. I had the confidence. But I ignored the instructions. All of my own qualifications weren’t enough to complete the task ahead of me, I simply could not fix the situation!

This desire to “fix things” isn’t so unnatural. In fact, I think we all feel it. There’s an idea of what we want for our lives, and so we use our limited resources to achieve that goal! There are little Chip and Joanna Gaines inside all of us! But I have a belief that this “fix it” mentality stems from this question: how do we trust God’s plan when we don’t know what it is? Our desire to fix things is a result of not knowing the end, not knowing where God is leading us. It feels like being in the wilderness, and simply desiring more than clouds and fire.

In living positive, Christian lifestyles, it is natural and God-given to have big dreams (shout-out to the Josephs on AG!), but our life-instructions aren’t Swedish pictures with nuts, bolts, and wooden planks– it’s so much bigger! It’s the Word of God! The Lord beckons us to have faith and trust in Him! Trust the process! Yes, even in the “quiet-times,” He sees us. He’s always there.

Here are some Biblical promises that have practical applications that help us in trusting the process:

  1. God has all power and all authority.

There is nothing that He can’t do! Situations often seem impossible and like there is no way out. In the big ways and the small ways, these seasons of being “backed into a corner” are overwhelming by nature, but there is comfort in knowing that nothing is impossible for Jesus. He can make a way in every situation.

Scripture Reference:

“For with God nothing shall be impossible.” Luke 1:37

“But Jesus beheld them, and said unto them, With men this is impossible; but with God all things are possible.” Matt 19:26

“For though he was crucified through weakness, yet he liveth by the power of God. For we also are weak in him, but we shall live with him by the power of God toward you.” II Corinthians 13:4

“Then Job answered the LORD, and said, I know that thou canst do every thing, and that no thought can be withholden from thee.” Job 42: 1-2

  1. JESUS LOVES YOU!

So much more than the song we sing in Sunday School, God is crazy about you! He loves you more than anything, and that can never change. He will never love you more. He will never love you less. He. Loves. You! I know for some of us, the question of trusting God’s plan has less to do with “can” he do it, but rather, “if” he will do it. However, this concern is of no value when we trust in His love. Whether He moves in the way we expect isn’t the heart of the matter, it’s knowing that when you’re trusting God, praying, fasting and seeking, it is not in His nature to leave you! He cannot do it! He is bound by his word. He loves you so much.

Scripture Reference:

“If then God so clothe the grass, which is to day in the field, and tomorrow is cast into the oven; how much more will he clothe you, O ye of little faith?” Luke 12: 28

“Casting all your care upon him; for he careth for you.” I Peter 5:7

“Know therefore that the Lord thy God, he is God, the faithful God, which keepeth covenant and mercy with them that love him and keep his commandments to a thousand generations” Deuteronomy 7:9

  1. His ways are higher than our own.

Along the vein of “things not going my way,” there is a deeper understanding that what I feel is — and what may be — “my good” is not necessarily God’s good. We love to quote Romans 8 where it says, “All things work together for THE GOOD of those who love him and are called according to his purpose,” but, it’s to note that it’s not necessarily MY good. It’s God’s good. For the betterment of His kingdom, so that souls might be saved.

C.S. Lewis makes an relates this concept well in the Chronicles of Narnia. The Pevensies, new to Narnia, are learning about Aslan. They keep asking the beavers if he is a “nice lion,” to which they glossily reply that he’s not nice, but he is good and he is just. As is God. Niceness gives us what we want (and because he loves us, God does deal with our wants and desires), but God’s goodness gives us what we NEED.

Isaiah 55 reminds us that his thoughts are higher than our own. Time does not exist for God, and He is always looking at the big picture. He sees the end and the beginning AT THE SAME TIME. He has never been surprised! There’s comfort in knowing that what I want, God will withhold because he knows what I need.

*Side bar: If I got everything I’ve ever wanted, I would be a Candy Land princess, married to Han Solo. Praise God I grew out of that phase, haha.

Scripture Reference:

“For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:9

“Great is our Lord, and of great power: his understanding is infinite.” Psalm 147:5

“Before I formed thee in the belly I knew thee; and before thou camest forth out of the womb I sanctified thee, and I ordained thee a prophet unto the nations.” Jeremiah 1:5

Ultimately ladies — have patience. He sees you and he loves you. The season of patience you’re in is preparation for the greater things God has in store. David says that “surely goodness and mercy will follow me” — and surely goodness and mercy will follow you! He has not forgotten you, but the desire to “be a fixer” and to take matters into your own hands may rob you of the joy of the season you’re in. So break out your Life-Instruction-Manual (ahem, the BIBLE), snuggle into God’s open arms, and keep trusting in the carpenter who not only fixes things, but also creates it right the first time. He loves you.

about alexys

Alexys Rea Griffin is a 23-year-old coffee connoisseur, bibliophile, Disney aficionado, and fresh-flower-lover. Seeking her English Literature degree from Florida State University, Alexys devotes her time to the Campus Apostolic Ministry at FSU as well as youth ministry, kids ministry, and music ministry at her local church. Do you do Instagram? ‘Cause so does she: @alexysasalways